Dad always loved a good blonde joke...

My father loved a good joke.

Especially blonde jokes!

They were his favourite.

He, at one point, started collecting them.

I wish he were here so I could share this one with him.

He would have loved it!

So....I'll share it with all of you instead :)

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There is a night flight that has just taken off.
As the stewardesses begin to deliver meal trays an attractive blonde walks up from economy to first class and sits down.

Stewardess: May I see your first class ticket please?

Blonde: I don't have one. I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm flying first class to Houston.

Dumbfounded the stewardess goes to the front cabin to speak with the pilots.
After sharing her story the co-pilot says he'll approach her.

Co-pilot: Ma'am I understand you do not have a first class ticket for this flight...?

Blonde: I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm flying first class to Houston.

Speachless, the co-pilot makes his way back to the cabin and exclaims in exasperation
"She's blonde, she's beautiful and she's flying first class to Houston!"

The head pilot asks the co-pilot to take over and says he'll deal with it.
The, now nosy, stewardesses follow him wide-eyed waiting for a scene.
But the pilot only leans down, and gently whispers something in the blonde's ear.

She immediately stood and retired to her original seat in economy. No questions asked.

The pilot returned to the cabin, stewardesses, bewildered, wagging their tongues behind him...

Stewardess: what did you say to her to make her go back to her seat??

Pilot: Oh. I just told her first class wasn't flying to Houston!

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I love a good blonde joke!!

Bob the Builder Birthday Party!

Can we Party?!

YES WE CAN!!

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Well, as you can tell, I'm still hanging in there.

My water did not break during the birthday party,

thankfully.

And we made it through!

First off,

the cake.

Now I know you saw my part the other day,

but check out BOB!!!

My friend, Laurie,

truly outdid herself!!

He is clearly well put together and totally made the cake special!

and was a total hit with our own Bob the Builder!

My portion of the cake was a bit of fussin', but worth it!

I used a great tutorial found on FamilyFun.com.

They have SUPER cake ideas!

and often show videos of how to do it.

I just looked at a picture of SCOOP and tried to adapt this tutorial to recreate him.

The toughest part was trying to frost a twinkie!

Definately freeze them first!!

All the kids and parents met us at the free splash pad in town.

It was very warm and the kids loved the water.

I brought colouring sheets and crayons in a dump truck.

and mod podged rocks with our favourite characters to hold down the napkins/plates and papers so they wouldn't fly away.

Lastly, before everyone left, we had a pinata!

here it is after the party still in one piece.

Why?

because it wasn't a pinata you hit--

it had a trap door!!!!

the kids pulled on the caution tape strips one by one.

they fall right out unless you pull the one that opens the door

and WHAM!

Candy for all!!!

the kids and the moms loved it!

I got the idea on familyfun.com as well.

HERE.

but did a few things differently.

the thing that made it the easiest was that I had bought adhesive caution tape at the dollar store.

Saved my butt that tape did!!

and made decorating the park a breeze because I didn't need to "tape" my caution tape.

It just stuck to whatever I put it on!!

All in all a great day!

And now onto having this baby.....

with love, from mom

My mom sends me some of the best emails.

She is a pastor and church humour runs high in her circles
(along with many other types of humour, eh mom?)

My mom is a particularly "punny",
oh, I mean funny, person herself.

here's her latest email:

4 Worms Church Sermon!

For those of you who missed church on Sunday, here is a recap!
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to
his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following
results:

The first worm in alcohol- Dead

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation -
What did you learn from this demonstration???

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service

ha ha!

Every story has its moral!

thanks for the laugh, Mom!

ewwww...

what do
3 pairs of underwear,
2 pairs of pants,
2 pairs of socks and
1 shirt
have in common?


Sadly, they are all casualties of the war on potty training

(we do have a Boon Potty Bench and we love it)

actually he's doing quite well...
but my laundry room smells like a sewer plant
and at moments I feel like the room is spinning...

I'm not sure if the dizziness comes from the smell (ugh!)
or the fact that it always seems to happen at inopportune moments,
like when my hands are covered in chicken guts or egg shells and I hear those sweet words
"mommy, I poop--now!"

yeah.
Kodak moments.

I have something to say

and you might not like it

but I'm going to say it anyway...

This

Is not acceptable attire at the public pool.

Especially while swimming with toddlers

and 12 year old boys.

There I've said it.

Go buy a one piece.

or a tankini.

Keep your string bikini's for the beach.

I don't care how smokin' hot you think you are for your age!

Even if you're 40 and have the body of a 20 year old...

act your age--not your waist size!

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okay I'm done now.

yes.

I'm fine.

sound off :)

Let me preface this post by saying I love my mother.
I am devoted to her more now than I ever have been

and couldn't imagine my life without her.

She and my father worked hard to teach us (my bro and I ) the value of money

and never to waste.

Anything.

That being said,

I've always thought of my mom as a bit of a pack rat.

She's always had trouble parting with things,

letting go,

or throwing out.

In a lot of ways she's right.

You may have a use for it in the future.

or

you just like it.

What proof?

Why do I stereotype my own mother?

Well...

it could be because up until they moved 6 years ago

she had every Christmas issue of

Chatelaine and Canadian Living

printed since 1979!

Canadian Living Holiday Edition circa 1978

Which I actually now wish I could get my hands on them!

I digress....

I have a similar problem.

And this is my confession.

My weakness is none other than strawberries.

Yes I am perfectly aware that they sell them in the grocery store year round

however I can't bring myself to pay a high price for fruit picked before it ripens

and has more air miles than I do!

This problem is inherited

Because, as I mentioned the move 6 years ago--

while clearing out their freezer to move across international waters,

I inherited my mother's strawberries...

dated 1998!

But Hey mom--no one can call you cheap!

Those freezer bags must have cost a pretty penny when I finally got around to eating them in 2004,

they tasted just like the day you froze them!

Proof of my own obsession?

Here in my freezer lay my very last bag of frozen sliced strawberries

packaged 1 year and 4 months ago.

Sitting on a bed of stewing beef

and nestled cozily in between english muffins and shredded zuchini.

It sits in limbo.Waiting to be used.

I have a lovely recipe I'd like to use them in.

mmmm....

yummy.

but alas,

if I use them,

they will be gone.

This is inevitable and I struggle.

They'll be gone.

and it's winter soon.

I won't be able to restash my freezer for another 9 months!!

I have trouble parting with the last bag every year.

To the point that we've eaten all the one's from this year

and I was saving this bag from last year as my back up.

I've been frivolous with my strawberries and

now I'm down to the back up bag.

What's a girl to do?

Am I the only one that hoards and agonizes over things?

Strawberries oh so sweet,

How much longer...

shall I wait to eat?!

you know you're Dutch when....

you have conversations like this with your 4 year old while playing at the park:

Pumpkin: Hey mom, let's play bus. I'm the driver.

Me: Okay.

Pumpkin: BEEP! BEEP! (in a very loud but low growly voice)

Me: Hey, that's quite the horn you've got there.

Pumpkin: yeah. It was cheap.

Me: I see... (snickering)

Pumpkin: What? It does the job.

Yes darling. Of course it does.

*shaking my head*

For the record

I married into the Dutch

*wink*

CHEESED OFF!

Okay...

Let me preface this in saying

if you own Kraft Foods International,

work for Kraft,

create recipes for Kraft

(which I totally appreciate!),

or know someone linked to Kraft in some way...

Please pass on the message that I am ANNOYED!!!

Well maybe CHEESED is a better description

and I'll tell you why...

Kraft Cracker Barrel cheese blocks used to be 600 grams.

They've been 600 grams since I was 600 grams!!

Then 2 years ago--I remember it like it was yesterday

(which is probably why it bothers me so much)

without warning they up and reduced their blocks to 540 grams

--and they DID NOT change the price!

In fact it went up!!!

I used to wait for a sale

like $3.99 for a block of cheese normally $8.

Well after that the sales were $4.99

and more recently $5.99

which in all honesty is still a relatively good sale

and I know the cost of food has inflated considerably

but now I was getting less cheese...

Well now I've hit my boiling point.

Kraft has gone and done it again!!

Their blocks of cheese have gotten smaller

now 500 grams

and the regular cost per block?

$9.42!!!

So far the sale price is sticking at $5.99

but I see this changing too...

I think I might have to stop cooking with cheese :(

but what's life without cheese?

"Dear Kraft representatives,

I'm CHEESED OFF!!"

but not off of cheese :)

How much is Cracker Barrel where you live?

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p.s. If you're looking for the giveaway, it's one post down--

and you don't need a blog to enter--just leave a way for me to reach you if you win!

So much to say...so little time

Wow! I have so much to say!

So many thoughts all fighting to get out first.

Well,

Where do I start?

I don't have much time.

It's 9:30am

and the dog has a vet appt. at 10:15am...

so to make this quick,

what first?

Well I was TOTALLY blown away

by the number of comments I received on my Giveaway!

145

Wow!

and I thought no one would like it!

Well THANK- you!!

and you,

and you,

and you too!

And then a wonderful thing happened...

you all know that I am soooo excited about Dana's quilt along.

Well Dana has this suction-y gadget-y thing-y for her straight edge

and I didn't know what it was.
So I asked.

But of course Dana is SOOO busy.

but I knew she'd get back to me sometime.

Well now she doesn't have to!

Because I made a new friend...

yes.

A new quilting friend

(I feel special)

KRISTEN

Hi Kristen--thank you!

She did all this research and finally discovered that the

suction-y cup, gadget-y, thing-y

is called a

GYPSY GRIPPER

you probably knew that,

Right?

Well now I know too.

I'm holding back with my Visa.

The Visa company really likes me!

And we all know how important it is to feel accepted,

but this time I think I'll ask for it for Christmas.

I mean if I BUY everything myself

then what are they going to get me?

hmmm..

I suppose there's always

fabric!

p.s. I know you're all dying to know the winner of Mr Hamburger

but you'll have to wait until after the dog gets dewormed

gross I know!

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

It's been raining for most of the day.

And yesterday.

And I think even the day before.

Our back yard has barely any grass in it.

Mostly mud.

(damage due to a fence going up late last summer)

Which is a wonderful combination with our dog.

This is Shelby.

She was our baby before we had babies.

She's a Boxer Lab Cross.
She used to be 5 lbs.

And we encouraged her to bark. Silly us.

Now she's 75 lbs on a good day and a little louder than the yipper she once was.
But we love her. She's a special girl.

And our kids love her too.

I was yelling at her today to "STAY ON THE MAT!" while I ran for a towel to clean her paws.

She was following me through the kitchen, leaving muddy paw prints everywhere.

My daughter called her over and pat her on the head and said in a sweet voice,

"You're a good girl, Shelby. It's okay. Mommy can just wash the floor. No big deal."

HMPH.

I bit my tongue.

We all love Shelby.

I just don't appreciate her free expression on my kitchen floor.