Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Comparison

I am by no means a competitive person.
Like truly I could care less if you are better at something than I am or do it before I do--so what?
I've always said
"It's people like me that help winners, stay at winning..."
Don't feel bad for me...I don't.
Someone has to lose in order for someone else to win--might as well be me :)
I say it a bit tongue in cheek because no one enjoys being at the back of the pack ALL the time. but really I'm not too bothered either.
However, when I read blogs and see all the creativity and capability out there--in spite of being moms just like me and still doing it all? It does deflate me....
just a little.
But I have realized something about myself and those other moms/bloggers.
I can't do it all because I'm not programmed that way.
I don't thrive on the busy, noisy, craziness of creativity banging away in my brain.
I hate feeling the itch to be doing something else.
Or the pressure to be something else.
I can't function on lack of sleep and still be a good mommy. Heck, with a couple of hours loss of sleep I can't even be a half descent mommy!
Don't get me wrong-- those creative --do it all--women are admirable! And I do, admire them that is. But I won't compare myself to them.
Because they're not me.
I bring this all up because a mom came up to me this week and asked me "how do I do it all?"
How do I do what?!
"Cook, clean, sew, blog, and always have neat tidy children?"
I stared at her wondering if she had me confused with someone else. Could she seriously be thinking I am one of those creative, capable women?
It suddenly dawned on me at that moment that what I share on the outside may look as though I've got it all in check. (Clearly this woman has never actually read my blog!)
And If I look like I've got it in check then maybe those women I have been tempted to compare myself to just share the good stuff?
This woman didn't know me well and I could tell that she's been struggling with a new baby and a desire to be more than she thinks she is, but I think the answer is to be happy with what you are and then work to expand that definition over time.
Define yourself broadly and specify as you go along.
Everything in a season.
So I'm going to continue being me.
no pressure. just ME.
And just in case you are wondering--yes my children are always neat and tidy. Sissy's hair is always done and their clothes and faces are always clean.
But my floors are not.
It's a case of priorities.
I'll let someone else win the "cleanest floors" award :)

4 comments:

cinzia said...

Love this post! I have always believed that women can have it or do it all...just NOT all at the same time. Anyone who tries probably won't keep up for very long. At some point somehting's gotta give. Being over 40 now i know that there is always time and opportunity to pursue new avenues. there is still ALOT of life left to live after 40.

Stray Stitches said...

Good for you! And as for the floors - they can wait!!

Valerie said...

Amen!

Melissa said...

I've gotten that question before too, and it always startles me. My answer is, "Well, I don't clean much, I don't spend a lot of time cooking, I get almost no exercise, and I don't go out much." That leaves all my time for being a mom, working full time, and hobbies like sewing!